blogging

some people don't blog.

my friend jbaum has never been to the site, even though i talk to him as though he has:

ie.

F: so it's finally happening.
J: what, your penis reduction?
F: no, i got the job.
J: you did? when?
F: didn't you read my blog?
J: i have never read a blog in my life.
F: oh, here's the link, read it and call me later.

just kidding, i don't give him the link, but it would make things easier.

it's funny that by having people read this, they are somehow catching up on my life.

i realized the importance of blogs because of my friend mai and her blog at comrade chicken. in reading her blog, i felt closer to her, more aware of her daily life, however constructed and edited a blog is. but it's better than nothing.

the surgery photo below is awesome. i don't know why, but i'm saving it. it's just so fucking bizarre to me that a dentist would sew up someone's gums through the gum and out the other side. bizarre isn't the right word: repulsive.

i pulled one of the stitches out yesterday. i was trying to brush really lightly and it came loose, so i put my finger on it and pulled it out, fascinated and horrified as i watched the thread exit the wound and begin to bleed. CODIENE!

speaking of, i went shopping today for metamucil. didn't buy it. do you know they charge $15 for you to crap regular? nope, i'll do it the old fashioned way: i'll do nothing.

okay, i'm sure the old fashioned way was probably to shove a stick dipped in boiling water up your ass. i love that they might have sterilized the stick so that they could cover it in the vilest excretions our bodies create. there's a reason we're repulsed by it - EVOLUTION. those who were interested in and played with the proverbial brown died, and those who thought it was nasty didn't. having too much fun imagining things that didn't ever happen.

although i have a theory that anything that you can ever imagine has happened to someone at some point in history. ie. -

a guy jumps off a building to kill himself but lands in a garbage truck and lives. unfortunately, an hiv infected needle pricks him, and he dies a slow terrible death over the next ten years.

a woman cuts off her husbands penis and he becomes a famous porn star after its reattached.

oh wait...

stranger than fiction indeed.

my fiance is about to go to sleep and so i must leave my ranting mid stream! lucky you :)