late lately

it feels like only yesterday that i posted something. sorry, faithful readers, for i know not what i do.

school is rapidly drawing to a close.
i am very happy about that.
money is rapidly drawing to a close.

i am bored by both.

bored is a luxury, though. we are lucky to be able to experience it.

i have fallen in love with classical radio and billboards hits of the 50's. never thought i'd like the 50's so much, but there is some great shit from the days of nuclear bomb prosperity and bakelite.

look for some old rockabilly from the 50's, those guys were incredibly ahead for their time! i was so blown away by a compilation (rockin' bones is the title) from a teacher i taught with of songs from the day. rockabilly from the 50's and 60's were basically early punks. seriously. check it out if you like social distortion, 50's, or rockabilly in general.

nothing to report, kids. i have applied to the toronto district school board, and am happy to have it out of the way. i love this city.

and so, like our sun, all things must end

so my two week holiday comes to a close. i will miss you, sleep, you old lover.

i do have THIS to look forward to, however:

yes, the joys of modern technology bring me hope that humanity is a jesting, laughing, loving being.

i have a friend who doesn't think the world is good anymore. who doesn't believe in people, in humanity. or, rather, in all humanity other than himself.

i happen to believe in humanity.

to not believe in the affective and effective powers of mankind to make our lives better for each other would mean i didn't believe i could affect any positive change of any kind. too depressing. perhaps a place worthy of contemplation, but i wouldn't want to live there.

i don't think my friend does either, but he's going through some rough things right now, and i can see how he might lose faith in his fellow man.

while finishing "the satanic verses", i had a realization prompted by the themes of the novel that evil is the easier choice in many situations ('evil' meaning 'wrong', not necessarily evil incarnate). doing 'good' is often a more difficult choice, are harder road to hoe, a heavier cross to bear.

this applies to decisions not just about good and evil, but about furthering your potential as a human being. like maslow suggests, we are only truly happy when we feel that we have maximized our potential as people. the novelist-cum-waiter connundrum doesn't lead to bliss. artists go crazy because they are screaming their souls out and no one hears them.

( this IS disjointed, i'll admit. they are random thoughts. there is a thin link in my mind where this is all connected to the same idea, do keep up :)

so by extension, there is an 'evil' in not maximizing your potential. the world suffers, you suffer. depression sets in. evil begets evil. eyes tinted by misfortune see only misfortune.

perhaps my friend has an external locus of control, or sees the world as being to blame, or too big to conquer, therefore, doing nothing absolves him of 'sin', because to struggle against the immorality of a humanity fed nothing but tube-served-capitalist gruel shoved into our gullets daily to make us fat and afraid would be pointless. a battle he can' t win.

he throws his arms up.

sees nothing in the beauty of two strangers exchanges pleasantries .

sees nothing in the beauty of two teenagers making out in front of the 7-11.

sees nothing in the magic of simple gifts. a person in a car letting someone in front. someone returning a wallet, a smile, a simple 'i love you too'. every day the world blows my fucking head off with how amazing we are, all of us, are. i am not always moved, touched, shaken, stirred, bowed.

but the spark is there, the fuel is there, the desire for warmth, the wind is just right, the setting so grand... it's always within my grasp, the fire of mankind warming the belly of a simple man in a simple time.

now back to the camera.