a treatise or justification of marriage

The anti-marriage stalwart has died and a new anti-anti-marriage one has replaced him. that would be me, and that would mean i'm engaged. I had many reasons, not the least of which is love, beauty, and a sense of wonder at partaking in such a custom. It had been 10 years since we had become a couple, so no one can accuse me of rushing into things.

my main reason was prompted by another wedding:

i had attended a friend's wedding, and during the dinner, when speeches were being given, the bride's father stood up and began to tell stories about his daughter, stories that made me weep, not just because they were beautiful stories, but because my father will never be able to stand up and tell stories at my wedding, no matter how much i wish he would have lived to see the day. So that began my lamenting the absence of ones we love.

compounding this was the following christmas, where my lady's father had his heart stop during dinner and the whole family had their hearts stop too while waiting to find out what happened. sitting around the hospital room waiting, fearing, all that was not said, not often enough, all that should be done, the true feelings of child to parent bubbling to the surface, regret, sadness, fear, and a future pondered without the bright light of their father. it was terrible. i decided then and there to not let my gal's wedding be full of speeches about those who they wished was there to attend, but couldn't.

the final reason was that i love my family. all of them, i think they're all wonderful people, and i wanted to stop being greedy about the whole thing and share them, give them, to my gal. i can't imagine a better gift. marriage may not be thought of as sacred, but if it can bridge any familial bonds and bring people closer together, then it's a powerful putty.

I was also able to propose on our recent trip to newfoundland, on the beach by my childhood home on a sunny day, forever investing that wonderful place with new memories, reinvigorating what was becoming a museum of my childhood into something new, a retrofitting of the mind, and also a bonding of her to something that i hold so dear.

the beauty is that we're not in any rush to get married: if it's taken us 10 years to get engaged, dont' expect any hasty rushes to the altar, there is no 'with child' on the bumper sticker.

i'll be done my two summer courses in 3 weeks, and will return to writing. it's funny, when you hear artists talk about what it's like not to be practising their art, it sounds cliche and false. they say 'it feels like a part of you dies' or 'it feels like you're partly dead', but it's true. i haven't spent so much time being non-creative in my entire life and, on the whole, it's depressing.

having finished my newfie musical 'screech', i turn my attentions to "home blown" or "blown home" or something (i just thought of them last night before falling to sleep), a film about a newfoundlander who returns home to find that the land he has been bequeathed (yes, and i love that it's cliche) has oil under it, and everyone wants in on the action, and the mayhem that ensues. i'm trying to figure out a way to make the main character a 12 year old kid who always walks with his head down so he can find things, but it's difficult. the alternate title was 'the boy who changed everything', and we'll see if we can bring him to life yet.

reading those titles above, i'm not sure i like them (although i'll keep 'the boy who changed everything' if i can).

out