the minds of the next generation are under my control!

a scourge of holden caulfields i will unleash upon the world!

that's the plan. it has no chance of working out, however. by the time they're in grade 8, they are either going to be or not going to be a holden caulfield, try as i might.

i've been teaching them 'the outsiders'. they love it, as many before have loved it. they love to be read to. it's beautiful. you can hear a pin drop. whenever they get a chance they want to run to the cupboard to open the book, to finally read a book that reflects their own class-ridden, violence fueled lives.

this took a turn for the unfortunate yesterday. my teacher, Karrie, decided to do an impromptu sit-and-talk-about-stuff for 20 minutes. she brought up the topic of book selling, based on the events in the news that day of Nicholas Hare/Horre not selling the new OJ simpson book about how, if he WAS going to kill his wife, how he would have done it. slightly twisted, yes.

so she took the time to discuss with the class their own view on it. it's awesome to watch. the socratic method of asking questions, never giving answers, as a teacher, seems perfect, especially in situations like these. let them formulate their own opinion.

so after the discussion was over, i had three guys near my desk, excitedly talking about how THEY would kill their wife, how they would slash her throat, near water, so no body would be found, and so no CSI people could find the evidence.

they were loving it. i was repulsed. i said, this isn't funny because it happens so often: men feel that women are their property, that they are less than human, and do kill them. it's a problem with our society.

they walked away discussing all the ways they could kill their wife. their wife...

so by grade 8, this mysogyny is present. whoever says media is harmless is probably making their living off it. i can think of nowhere else that they would pick up this content.

i shudder. i want to have an antedote, an answer, but i have nothing but frustration. these divides we have between us never get smaller, do they. like cancer, they confuse, elude, and destroy us.




but!! don't leave saddenned dear reader! on the upside of up, i do love teaching, and seem to have a natural affinity for it. whether or not it's furthering their education it is too early to tell. but i will be happy here. for now.

i had a conversation with a teacher who said that, most teacher's are not intellectual, do not think deeply, fear those who do, dislike those who do, and i will not have many teacher's as my friends because they are a mediocre lot.

while a compliment, i had wondered about this before. it is not a worry for me. i don't need my friends to be intellectual, i only need them to be kind. i don't need them to be smart, i only ask that they be forgiving.

what a long, strange trip it's been. two and a half years ago, i decided to go back to school to finish my degree in english. i then got hired on a kids show, got fired, got back in time to enroll at school, bought a car because i had to commute to london once a week, then a job (bay street), then get in to school, and now here i am. is this the last hurdle? no. but it's the second last. the last will be getting a job. here's to that.

i'm so tired i might forever sleep without an alarm clock.